


scorpio rising

by gyulminky



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 23:43:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19896322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyulminky/pseuds/gyulminky
Summary: Yeji and Jisu are on the cusp of adulthood, and life seems to be tugging them in different directions, and yet, she's always somewhere in a parked car, sitting in the driver's seat, waiting for Jisu to open the door and sit beside her. YeJisu ♡ Title and inspiration from Scorpio Rising by Soccer Mommy.





	scorpio rising

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sanabaechu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanabaechu/gifts).



> hi, the title itself has nothing to do with the fic, but the song does, as i repeatedly listened to it as i wrote the fic. this fic is for vonne (@sanamoons on twitter) because i always promised to write a yejisu fic, and it's also for lia, because it's her birthday, and yeji, because it was her birthday last month. stream ICY when it comes out! as always, thank you for reading ♡

_  
_ _  
_ _Kiss you in the park_

_We'll meet up after dark_

_In your car with the backseat southern summer_

_Ignored all the missed calls from your mother_ _  
  
_

_And kiss me in the park_

_We'll meet up after dark_

_And we'll talk until morning hits the windshield_

_And paints yellow lines on the field_ _  
_ _  
_ _  
_ It always ended up this way, but Yeji knew deep down that she wouldn’t have it any other way –– it felt instinctive by now, her left hand resting on the steering wheel of her red hatchback, silently sitting while parked on the curb, her head turned to the right as she looked out the window and waited for a certain someone to walk out the door and plop into the seat beside her.  
  
A bouquet basket of pink orchids were fastened to the middle seat by a loosely maneuvered seat belt. They were her favorite –– and she was attentive.  
  
A lot of things reminded Yeji of _her_ , and for her own peace of mind, she often tried her hardest to ignore these passing pangs that came and went when she would see Jisu in almost everything.  
  
After realizing she couldn’t avoid it, she instead learned to bear it –– when her thoughts directed her to Jisu, all she could do was stare at the polaroids lodged in her wallet and leaf through them with care, tending to them like gold leaves.

She whistled as she fiddled with the buttons of what Ryujin, her erstwhile teammate, called her “dad wallet” ––– it wasn’t Yeji’s fault that she wanted something small and easy to use.  
  
High school was a series of memories made tangible by the stack of polaroids, and she would sometimes sift through them in her mind the way she sifted through the ones in her wallet. Sometimes she would stay up wondering what she would do differently, but couldn’t imagine how it would’ve turned out if she changed anything at all.  
  
There it was ––– the taller girl had her arms around the smaller girl’s elegant but sharp shoulders, embracing her from behind, attaching herself to the other girl by the cheek. They looked happy. They were.  
  
Their smiles radiated from the photo ––– bright and soaked in sincerity, Yeji smiling straight at the camera as Jisu continued to stare at her and grin, almost unaware of the bright flash capturing them in light. She looked to the window again, and began to reminisce, right from the first time she ever picked Jisu up in her little red car.  
  
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––  
  
  
**2 YEARS AGO**  
  
The weather was chilly, and it was difficult to walk in this weather. This is what Yeji told herself, in the hopes that it would make sense when she said it out loud as her actual reason for being here, so it could maybe sound like a reason instead of an excuse.  
  
If there was anything she hated more than anything, it was having to explain herself in detail. She wasn’t as good with words as Jisu was. She wasn’t as self-assured or graceful or as quick a talker either. She definitely didn’t realize that was as an effect and not a symptom ––– she was tongue-tied around Jisu.  
  
The lithely built girl was always so poised and icy at first glance, which drew a broad kind of attention from all sorts of people. But what kept Yeji hooked by the collar was the way her face transformed into a warm, honeyed smile in a heartbeat. She often had to put her hands in her pockets and squeeze the soft lining against her palms as if she was cold, when she was just reacting to the sight of Jisu smiling at her, which became more frequent the more she’d catch Jisu staring back when Yeji discreetly stole glances at her.

Yeji looked into the rearview mirror, checking if every strand of hair on her ponytail was neatly in place or that her jacket wasn’t creased or stained while exhaling into her hand to check her hitching breath. Snow started to fall, and it was getting late. She directed her gaze back to the storefront. There she was, packing up behind the register.  
  
It was Thursday night, and Choi Jisu worked Tuesdays and Thursdays at the bookstore after school until she closed up shop.

Yeji only learned this in gym class yesterday, Wednesday morning, when Jisu looked like she was about to doze off as she attempted to tie her shoes beside Yeji on the bottom most bleacher.

\--

  
_“Hey Jisu, are you alright?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Hmm? Yeji?” Snapping back to life, Jisu straightened her posture._ _  
_ _  
_ _“You almost fell over…” Yeji furrowed her brow in concern._ _  
_ _  
_ _“I missed my bus home last night so… I had to walk home after work in the cold like an idiot. I’m fine though,” Jisu replied drowsily while sighing._ _  
_ _  
_ _“You… work? Where do you work?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I work at the bookstore beside the park. I just started yesterday and didn’t realize I missed the night bus though… Rookie mistake. I’m not gonna take too long packing up next time,” she punctuated with a yawn and put her face in her own hands as she looked away before smiling back at Yeji as if to assure her she was alright, no matter how tired she looked. “I’m honestly talking too much… sorry for the TMI. It’s okay, don’t look at me like that, you’re staring at me like you’re gonna bring me to the hospital. It’s only Tuesdays and Thursdays anyway. Plus it was my own fault...”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Yeji only nodded, not wanting to seem overfamiliar, yet writing it to memory instantly. Jisu worked at the bookstore next to the park, and since Yeji had indoor football practice, she also had to go home late tomorrow… A detour wouldn’t be so bad._ _  
  
_

_\--_ _  
_ _  
_ Here she was, smoothing her coat over, rolling down her window as Jisu approached the sidewalk, inching closer curiously and squinting to clearly see Yeji’s face despite the wind chill as she held her padded coat together.  
  
“Yeji? Is that you…? What are you...”  
  
“Jisu! Um… Do you still need a ride? Wait, come inside, it’s cold ––”  
  
“Did you wait for me?” After firmly closing the car door, she cocked her head to the side as she asked the ponytailed girl in the driver’s suit with a soft, worried lilt.  
  
“You mentioned you walked home on Tuesday night and… I just figured since it was on the way that I’d pick you up.” That was a lie. It was not on the way. Yeji gulped. “I had to stay out late because of practice…” Even though that was in fact not a lie, she instinctively looked away and started playing with her hair, as transparent as anyone who totally went out of their way to see someone would be.  
  
“Well, you should let me make it up to you, then. Have you eaten?” Jisu then paused for a bit as if to think silently, and slowly turned to face Yeji with an apologetic smile. “Can I get you some dinner…?” Before Yeji could open her mouth, the smaller girl followed it up with an “I _insist_.”  
  
“Well, if you do _insist,”_ Yeji smirked back and wiggled her eyebrows as Jisu chuckled at her expression, arms swinging into a clap.  
  
“What do you feel like eating?”  
  
“Just some hot ramyun would be nice in this weather, don’t you think?”  
  
While pulling up to park in front of a convenience store, Yeji wordlessly handed Jisu an extra scarf she had in the glove compartment a bit awkwardly, but quite cutely in Jisu’s opinion –– the latter beamed at her regardless and obliged, delicately and loosely putting it around her own neck. Yeji put her own scarf around her neck as well, before tucking it under her coat. They exited the car together, and Yeji waited for Jisu to walk alongside her before reaching for the storefront door.  
  
They settle for a classic cup of ramyun each, Yeji immediately punching in a 3 minute reminder alarm as Jisu watched her meticulously time it as she chuckled to herself ––– this was definitely not the image she initially had when it came to Hwang Yeji.  
  
On the football field, she was a star. She was the ace _and_ the captain ––– the current record holder for goals in one season. People swooned at her and about her, and myths made themselves around her.  
  
Jisu couldn’t believe Yeji went out of her way just to pick her up, but she absolutely wouldn’t and couldn’t complain ––– in a way, she also kind of imagined the moment in her head before, watching Yeji pull up to park in school in her little red hatchback under the trees, she wondered if she would ever get to see it from the inside, and here she was, sitting shotgun.

It still nagged at her though - what compelled Yeji to do this in the first place? 

Well, in hindsight, she was still nursing a cold from that walk home the other day, the weather was getting colder and her carelessness cost her an unnecessary amount of energy and time. She just didn’t realize Yeji really was paying attention when she mentioned it. She had no idea the tall, always casually neutral girl would even do anything about it at all - and the implications still thoroughly confused her - but again, no complaints. On the flipside, Jisu was always the kind of person who held her breath in case there was a catch.

“So… Why did you start working at the bookstore?”  
  
“Would you believe me if I said it’s because of the 20% employee discount?” She sheepishly grinned, smiling with her eyes.  
  
“I would want to believe you, but I, and everyone else in school all know your family… um... owns a tech company so… I was also just wondering why you needed to work at all.”  
  
Jisu’s expression hardens for a few seconds, and then softens again. The change was always precise –– Yeji wondered how well she hid her actual emotions, but Jisu’s veneer seemed to crack a bit with the hard pointed question.  
  
“There’s something I’m saving up for. I don’t want to have to use family money or even ask for it when I want things… It must sound weird but I guess I just want a bit more agency…? But also,” she chuckles. “The simple answer is I love reading.”  
  
“I figured that was what you were gonna say. Your nose is always in a book and I always wonder what gets you to look up....” The way Yeji looked at Jisu after she said that made Jisu flinch and caught her off-guard. Her normally severe gaze melted into something that resembled yearning. But Jisu balled her fists and told herself not to read too much into it, just not to find herself disappointed.

Jisu had harbored a burning feeling that once felt aimless ––– when she saw Yeji, she felt every inch of her skin react to the wind, to the sun, wherever she was ––– down to her fingertips and the soles of her feet, she knew what chills felt like, but this was something a bit different. The difference was the grinding in her stomach every time she found Yeji’s eyes bearing into her.  
  
Jisu’s train of thought was derailed by Yeji loudly slurping the last mouthful of ramyun.  
  
“Sorry…” She covered her mouth and wiped it with the base of her palm.  
  
“That sounded really satisfying though.”  
  
“Oh, trust. It really was. Thanks for dinner.”  
  
“No, thank you for picking me up and bringing me home…” Jisu looked down at her lap, feeling slightly embarrassed that Yeji, who hardly knew her (or so she thought) went out of her way to be this kind to her. “Really. You didn’t have to.”  
  
“Don’t thank me yet, I haven’t brought you home.” Yeji broke into that smile again, her eyes folding into cute crescents. “Do you want to go home now?”  
  
“Not yet…”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“Maybe we could stay here for a while.”  
  
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––  
  
**ONE YEAR AGO**  
  
Yeji pulled up into Jisu’s driveway, tapping away nervously on the sides of the steering wheel as she looked out the window once more. Earlier, they were greeted by a big green gate that automatically parted as they rolled in. Jisu wasn’t just rich. She was mansion rich. Automatic gate rich. And obviously, she knew this, but there was always something to be surprised about.  
  
There was a fountain, an immaculately kept garden, and her driveway was meticulously paved with patterned stones. Her gaze turned to the big window by the door, with the daylight shining into the unlit chandelier, where she saw Jisu hurriedly go down the spiral staircase with a fancy leather duffel. She hears another door loudly close as a tall, blonde, and just as lithely built girl ran to follow her in a snug red baseball hat, a giant backpack, and shades too big for her face that were almost as distracting as her big smile shining with excitement. Yeji immediately knew she was the little sister she always talked about.  
  
Yeji was so distracted by the scenery and her thoughts that she almost forgot she had two other passengers in her car –– Ryujin had fallen asleep in the front seat beside her, and Chaeryeong was unfazed by her surroundings, earphones plugged into her ears while playing some sort of rhythm game. The competition season just ended and they were all sort of tired and relishing the onset of summer vacation, but Yeji still had to find a polite way to wake Ryujin up and kick her out of the front seat without sounding or looking suspicious, but everyone else would have been deaf or blind not to see that Yeji was nervous about it. Instead, she stood up from the driver’s seat and exited the car to help the siblings load their bags in the back.  
  
Jisu was dressed simply, in a white t-shirt, denim shorts and a big jacket that swallowed her small frame, and as she registered the sight of Yeji walking towards her, her first instinct was to drop her bag and run towards the taller girl and envelop her in a tight hug as she slightly lifted her feet off the ground and shifted all of her weight into the hug, which left Yeji red in the face, even as she lifted and twirled the smaller girl around instinctively, not really wanting to let go either, oblivious to the young, widely grinning bystander who picked up the bag on the floor and lugged it into the back of the car herself. It was only when the soles of Jisu’s feet hit the ground and the two began to peel themselves off each other did the younger girl loudly clear her throat, leaving the older girls flustered and aware of how they looked in the moment.  
  
“Yeji, this is my little sister Yuna, she’s starting high school next year and when she heard we were going camping she begged me to let her go too, so…”  
  
“No worries!” Yeji offered her hand to the tall girl who was mischievously grinning at her. “Nice to have you join us, Yun––” Instead, she was pulled into another tight hug.  
  
“Yeji-unnie! I’ve heard a lot about you from Lia-unnie! I’ve been looking forward to this weekend all summer! I even bought a camping bag, see? I’m so excited! Wah!” The younger girl, however, quickly let go and beamed at her while putting her bag in the back as well, as her older sister apologetically looked at Yeji.  
  
“My family calls me Lia…”  
  
“Lia…” Yeji liked the way it rolled off her tongue, the way she saw this new side of her that people hardly saw. The name fit her.  
  
“When I spent a few years in Canada, I…” Jisu brushed her hair back with her hand and looked at the car parked beside them and back at Yeji. “I’ll tell you all about it later.”  
  
“Okay, cool,” Yeji grinned back at her, and then blanked out as if remembering something as she panicked and ran to the car door by the front passenger seat. “Ryujinnie, do you mind moving to the b––”  
  
“Already here, lovergirl.” Ryujin smirked as Chaeryeong and Yuna chuckled at the exchange, already seemingly getting along especially in sharing their amusement at Yeji’s embarrassment. Jisu, mistakenly opening one of the other back doors, saw that the back was full and got into the front seat as if it wasn’t what she also wanted. Yeji started the car and turned the radio on as they sped out of the driveway.  
  
The drive was supposed to be three hours long, but felt like a minute. Yeji always enjoyed driving while Jisu sat shotgun, whether they talked or just listened to music together. The car stereo was a bit old, Yeji’s dad bought the car when Yeji was still in elementary school, and it didn’t have a bluetooth option or anything fancy. Still, Yeji liked listening to the radio anyway.  
She liked her little red car, it made her think of her family –– she couldn’t help but miss them since she lived in a dorm while going to school in Seoul.  
  
It only made her sad when Jisu made her a driving playlist, not realizing Yeji couldn’t play music from her phone, even with an aux cord. When Yeji told her and apologized, half-embarrassed, Jisu chided her for even apologizing, and the next day, gave her a CD instead, containing the playlist with its very own tracklist, handwritten and hand-decorated with its own cover, a collage of puppies, flowers, and pictures of Jeonju, her hometown. She always kept it in the glove compartment and listened to it almost every day when she first got it, not realizing that Jisu was going to make her _multiple_ mix CDs. Yet the first one held a particular place in heart –– and when Jisu left for Canada for the earlier half of the summer, she would listen to it religiously when she missed her, which was all the time.  
  
It had been a few months of not seeing her that made her realize what exactly she missed.  
  
Jisu, or Lia (a name that felt very much like her, regal and understated, a name Yeji wanted to get used to and know more about) hadn’t changed at all. It wasn’t like she expected her to. She often wondered what Jisu was like in Canada, and what Canada was like…  
  
She started to hear Yuna and Ryujin snoring in the back, with Chaeryeong sandwiched between them with her head on Ryujin’s shoulder. She chuckled to herself before Jisu turned to her and put her pointer finger to her lips to shush her, as if to say _hey, the kids are sleeping…_ _  
_ _  
_ There were also many things Jisu wanted to tell Yeji. Every now and then, especially when she was driving, she’d steal glances at the older girl, focused on the road. She missed her a lot while she was away, but finding the right way to put it always bothered her –– she didn’t want to sound needy, and she didn’t want to sound flippant about it either. At some point it was all she thought about, which bothered her. She was never this stuck on anyone before. Jisu was always set on the future, but here she was, soaking up the present like a flower bathing in daylight as they wove through mountain roads.  
  
Occasionally though, Yeji would stare back before focusing on the road again before Lia could look away, and this was one of those times. Jisu broke the stare as both of them looked out into the open road. They were almost there. The other girls began to shift and wake as Yeji rolled down the window to take the fresh air in. Even while pulling into the cliffside trail’s parking lot, they sat silent, only looking out into the view. The air was chilly despite summer rolling in, and the breeze this high up felt and sounded comforting as it moved through trees.  
  
“Wah… Pretty...” Yuna broke the silence, staring intently from the car window, both hands and lone nose pressed into the glass as Ryujin and Chaeryeong giggled at her mannerisms.  
  
Yeji and Ryujin had gone on a team trip here last spring, and planned to go again one day to celebrate winning the tournament. This time, Yeji brought Jisu along (with Yuna, to her amusement) and Ryujin brought Chaeryeong along. Chaeryeong and Ryujin were a year below Yeji and Jisu, but Yeji ate lunch with Chaeryeong and Ryujin often –– Chaeryeong was a fixture in their matches, being a part of the cheering squad, which was even more decorated than the football team, which the two playfully argued about often. She was also Ryujin’s neighbor, and would be over often while Yeji was at Ryujin’s house, homesick. Over the years, Yeji and Chaeryeong became friends in their own right, going out shopping without Ryujin, which she would amusingly whine about.  
  
Ryujin and Chaeryeong had set off to set their tent up, leaving Yeji, Jisu, and Yuna to set their own tent up, and to the older girls’ surprise, Yuna had brought her own tent, proudly telling them she had watched 5 videos on youtube on how to pitch a tent and that she didn’t need their help, checking every patch of grass to see which one was most flat.  
  
This left the two of them alone in a tent, then. The two smiled at each other, both trying their best to not show their equally masked inner turmoil. Yeji took the lead though, having pitched a tent before, as Jisu eagerly offered her help repeatedly despite not being particularly helpful, which was okay, by now they both knew what the dynamic was, or each thing the other was good at where the other consequently compensated for it in other ways.  
  
Jisu looked towards her sister speedily making friends with the two neighbors, all three of them gathering branches for a marshmallow fire before the sun started setting, singing in chorus to a song she didn’t know that sounded familiar. She began to hum along, to Yeji’s secret enjoyment.  
  
Yeji loved to watch Lia sing. She would always be shy about letting the taller girl watch her do it, always in passing, over a song playing on the stereo, or humming to herself as she baked small pies in Yeji’s toaster oven. She always sang unseriously and casually while doing mundane things, not realizing the way it would momentarily captivate the other girl who would just sit, watch and smile like she always did ––– like she was right now, even as she checked the stake of every tent, captain-like and considerate.  
  
Jisu loved that about her, how she was always so forthright but easygoing, silently supportive and highly approachable, even when she didn’t look it, Yeji always looked so stern, even when Jisu came to realize the taller girl was the softest thing in the planet ––– her expression always seemed so intense. It was the same on the field though, whenever she got a chance to watch. Eager onlookers would crowd the bleachers, and sometimes she felt like she was watching someone she didn’t know, like a bystander watching a meteor light up the sky.  
  
As the neighbors set up the fire pit, the siblings started laying out cookware for a fondue, both chocolate and cheese, along with fruits, bread, and even some meats as Yeji set up the set of folding chairs she packed in the car. It was getting a bit cold and everyone was chatting cozy in their respective hoodies and assorted blankets. The folk pop music softly playing on a speaker blended almost clichédly with the crackle of the campfire.  
  
Night set in, and the stars blanketed the five as they stared up at the sky, lying on a giant quilt.  
  
“I wish I had a telescope,” Yuna mused to herself, both hands folded over her eyes like binoculars.  
  
“We’ll bring one for next time.” Ryujin replied coolly as Yuna blushed and smiled to herself, thinking the boyish girl wasn’t looking at her while she did.  
  
“Look at that, Yuna-ssi… See that constellation that looks like a teapot?” Chaeryeong pointed up, gesturing and drawing a pattern. “That’s Sagittarius. That’s the bow.”  
  
“I’m a Sagittarius!” The younger girl half-yelled in surprise while turning to look at Chaeryeong and lightly leaned her head on her shoulder. “You’re so cool, Chaeryeong-unnie…”  
  
Chaeryeong smirked at Ryujin, who was silently huffing at her while pulling down her lower eyelid back at her. Jisu, watching the whole exchange laughed to herself, her little sister was really out here living her best life.  
  
Yeji was just looking out into the open sky. Jisu was watching the other four, the neighbors bickering as the oldest gazed upon the expanse of stars and the youngest stared up and stretched her arms as if to grab them one by one. She lasers her focus on Yeji once more, scanning her from her forehead to her lips, and then catches herself doing it.  
  
The more attached Jisu felt, she usually felt an equal need to pull away, to restrain herself, as with every single thing in her life. It just felt so right, almost too right. She knew she didn’t want to let this moment pass, she wanted to hold it down with all her strength, she knew she would roll this memory in her head over and over like a pearl when she had to leave, _eventually_. Keyword was _eventually._  
  
She’d been meaning to tell Yeji that she never meant to want anything this bad, that the timing sucked for them, that for the first time she was reconsidering a dream she had nurtured her whole lifetime and that it felt dangerous to feel herself want anything else. She always meant to tell her a million other things, for example, how her days were dreary and drippingly slow before she met her, and that she didn’t realize how lonely she was until after she met her.  
  
Jisu wanted to tell her that there was an ache inside her that soothed itself every time Yeji talked to her, or even just smiled at her, but that was too much, and Jisu always felt like she was too much. For all her neediness and insecurity that would needle away at her own brain, more than anything in the world, Yeji made her feel like she was just enough. And the more time would pass, the more she found herself wishing it wouldn’t. In this very moment, she wanted to stand in front of the relentless passage of time; to stop it in its tracks.  
  
But she couldn’t do that. She knew that. The stars knew that, it almost felt like they were telling her too. All she could do was stare, so she did, but she found two eyes staring back at her in the moonlight.  
  
“What’s on your mind?” Yeji threw the question into the atmosphere, right into her overly contemplative headspace.  
  
“Ummm… A lot, to be honest.”  
  
“I know. You looked very lost in thought. I didn’t want to bother you, but the kids are already in their tents.”  
  
“Oh?” Jisu looked around to see the two other tents closed, one dark, and one lit with the silhouette of Yuna watching something on her phone.  
  
“Lia… Why ‘Lia’?” Yeji rolled her friend’s name in her mouth, she learned something new about her today. She wanted to know more, and finally brought it up.  
  
“It’s short for Julia, my English name… My aunt gave it to me when I went to Toronto for the first time.”  
  
“Julia.” She enunciated every syllable. “Ju-li-a. Lia. Pretty name.” She said. _For a pretty face_ , she thought.  
  
“I would spend every summer and winter there.” Jisu explained, “I spent a chunk of elementary school there before moving back here.”  
  
“I figured… You’re so good at English,” Yeji laughed.  
  
“Why are you laughing?” Jisu asked, even though she was also laughing, and she didn’t know why.  
  
“Because,” Yeji said between chuckles, “I thought you were a foreigner when I met you in school. Part of me was a little scared of you.”  
  
“You? Scared of _me?_ WHY? _”_ She began to laugh louder too, incredulous at the notion of being scary at all. “You’re the scary one,”  
  
Yeji began to look at her with an intense face, the one Jisu was just thinking about, before the older girl lifted her hands lazily shaped like claws, before swiping one of them at her, going for the tickle spot in her side.  
  
“Oh my god, Yeji, they’re sleeping, shhhhhhh,” Before she realized it, her hands held both Yeji’s forearms and they were inches apart. “We should just whisper.”  
  
“Okay,” Yeji whispered, “Sorry.”  
  
Jisu began to laugh even harder though, leaving Yeji confused, because she was definitely not tickling her.  
  
“What’s so funny?”  
  
“Your face. Your face is so funny. You’re not scary at all.” She laughed until she stopped to breathe, “You’re so cute…”  
  
They stared at each other for a few more seconds which felt like stretched out minutes. Jisu tried her best to hold her gaze while not cracking into a dumb smile. She also tried not to say anything she would regret, aka everything she would regret NOT saying, it was all just jumbled in her mind, she began to zone out again.  
  
“What’s my English name?” Yeji asked as she cocked her head ever so slightly, like an eager pup.  
  
“Hmmm… Lucy.”  
  
“Lucy. Lu-cy. _Lucy._ ” She enunciated and rolled every syllable slowly once more before saying it like how she thought a Canadian would say it, albeit a Canadian with a cute lisp. “Why Lucy?”  
  
“My parents took me to a park near the house we stayed at in Toronto right after Yuna was born. I was walking around with them and I saw this dog, this golden retriever, the fluffiest, the cutest dog I’ve ever seen. I asked her owner what her name was, and she said her name was Lucy, and I fell in love.” Jisu’s eyes were glazing over as she spoke. “We would go there every weekend, and Lucy would be there too, and before we left to go back home, my parents asked if I could have a picture with her. It’s there above our fireplace. I wonder sometimes if she’s still alive…”

“I remind you of a dog?”  
  
“No, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like… I just thought you smiled the same way and ––”  
  
“Sometimes I wish I were a dog… I wish I could’ve met Lucy.” Yeji mused as she spoke slowly, totally unfazed by Jisu comparing her to a golden retriever, the comparison making perfect sense in her mind as Jisu cursed herself in her head wishing she said that in a more elegant way. Yeji said it again in her head, and then once more aloud. “Lucy.”  
  
“I need to tell you something though,” Jisu began, realizing she loved Yeji too much to keep her in the dark, figuratively, and literally, in this cold dark night, not wanting to keep her up for no reason, knowing her days with her were already numbered, growing tired of dancing around it.  
  
“What is it?” Yeji smiled, and Jisu couldn’t read it, which scared her a fraction more.  
  
“I’m going abroad for college. I’m studying abroad after I graduate high school,” Jisu swallowed her nerves and continued, scared of any sort of response, “I’ve always been meaning to, ever since I was little, and even then I was so sure, and I didn’t know why. For some reason, Toronto always felt like home. I wanted to be out on my own, and I wanted to be independent, and I wanted to chart a different life for myself beyond the safety net of my family, even though I love them a lot… Like, a lot. More than anything.” Jisu’s eyes continued to glisten as she continued to speak with increasing fervor.  
  
“They’ve already laid down roots here in Korea though. Yuna has lived here all her life, even when I’d be away at times for the summer, and I would literally will myself to be happy in Seoul, even when I really felt lonely here, even with everyone around. It sounds so selfish though, to feel like I belong elsewhere, and I don’t even know if I belong there either at this point, all I know is that I want to see more of the world. I’ve been saving since last year and I’ve applied to a lot of colleges, but none here. It’s so dumb worrying about all of this already, I’m still waiting to see if it works out but…”  
  
“Oh, come on,” Yeji scoffed, “You know it will. You’re the smartest person I know.”  
  
Jisu stops mid sentence to breathe and realizes she had been talking for way too long, and that Yeji had been rearing to respond any second now.  
  
“You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met and you deserve the world. I know that to be true. Every college will be begging to have you as their student. You have every reason not to doubt it, with how hard you’ve worked… I’ve been right beside you this whole year. You think I don’t know you’ve been planning this for some time? Or that I don’t see those forms you fill out when you think I’m not looking?” She stopped for a second to look Jisu straight in the eye before continuing her train of thought, and sharply inhaled, steeling herself while confirming what she knew to be true.

“You know, when I got a football scholarship in Seoul for high school, I realized my tiny world was expanding way too fast for me to keep up… My parents said it would be good for me, and that I had a whole world to see outside of Jeonju.” She continued with fierce fondness, recalling their faces in her mind. “And in my head, I was like, no, I want to stay here with you guys, I want to stay here for as long as I live, I’m comfortable here. I felt a bit bad, reconciling it in my head, like they didn’t want me around with how much they were pushing for it even though I knew they wanted the best for me, and they did. They saw it in me. I understand how that feels now.” The older girl stops again, and pauses before clearing her throat. “I’m saying this as your _friend_ … No matter how I feel about you leaving, I’d always want you to chase your dream first and foremost… Jisu, I –––”  
  
It took all the courage Jisu’s body could muster, with her heart blaring in her ears _–– don’t wait –––_ whether it was the right time or not, whether the right time would ever come, her thoughts were wildly confusing and her ears were hot but her heart, her poor nervous heart was screaming to be heard, yelling ––– _things will only fall into place if you shake the table…_ _  
_ _  
_ Yeji’s first thought was that Jisu’s lips were soft, her eyes widened with surprise as Jisu grabbed her by the face and kissed her, she had never been kissed before and she had no idea how to react, but she melted in her hands and closed her eyes when Jisu kissed her a second time, less urgently, more slowly, their mouths finding a rhythm, folding over each other sweetly, and ever so slightly as awkward like any first kiss could ever be. Yeji put her own hands over Jisu’s hands upon her warm cheeks, and pulled away to look at her.  
  
“I really, really like you.” Jisu muttered under her breath, but just enough for Yeji to hear. “I’ve probably liked you even before you knew who I was. I thought it would go away like every other crush I’ve ever had the more I got to know you… But I know that if I don’t tell you before I go, more than anything, that would mean I’d be lying to the both of us, and I would never lie to you. And I’m scared of losing you, because I was always looking for somewhere I belonged, but you feel like home to me. And I’m sorry for kissing you like that, I’ve been rambling and I haven’t asked you how you felt and I don’t want to upset you –––”  
  
“Do I look upset?” Yeji replied, sounding sort of upset.  
  
“Yes? You look kind of upset right now…?”  
  
“I’m just upset that you think I’m upset…”  
  
“So you’re… not upset…?”  
  
“Why would I be upset?” Yeji laughed, softening her voice, realizing they both sounded ridiculous.  
  
“Because I stole your first kiss?”  
  
“You didn’t steal my first kiss.”  
  
“So that wasn’t your first kiss???” It was Jisu’s turn to keel over in shock.  
  
“No! I mean yes! Obviously, it was my first kiss, but you didn’t steal it… It’s not like I didn’t want you to kiss me. I really like you… I thought you knew that already, so I take back saying that you’re smart… _Pabo…”_ Yeji laughed at Jisu’s borderline cryptic expression, a mix of shocked, happy, confused, and dumbstruck, before holding both her hands and inching over to kiss _her_ this time. And another time, and then repeatedly, before Jisu manually stops her with her palm on Yeji’s forehead.  
  
“So… What does this mean?” Jisu inquired with the tone of a scientist in a TV show, or an investigative reporter, and Yeji tried not to laugh.  
  
“What do _you_ mean ‘what does this mean’?” The older girl replied, “You tell me what it means, you kissed me first.”  
  
“Does this mean…” Jisu took a deep breath before continuing. “You and I…”

“...are together? You tell me. Is that what you want?” Yeji cut in instead, a bit impatiently, but only because she desperately wanted to know as well.  
  
“It just doesn’t seem fair… I… You know that in a year I’ll be…”  
  
“Is it what you want?” Yeji asked again, firmly.  
  
“Yes… It’s what I want.”  
  
“Okay.” The taller girl smiled. “That’s what I want too. I don’t mind that you’re leaving and I know it’ll be hard when we’re apart. But I know I want to be with you.” She presses her forehead onto Jisu’s, “As long as you want to be with me.”  
The conversation continued well into the night, until they started to drift into sleep, Jisu falling asleep first like she always did, even as she fought the drowsiness, not wanting the night to end. They talked about other days in their past, the things that reminded them of each other. The flags they never waved. The signs they always ignored. The signs they chose to ignore. It was all up in the air, and then it fell into place.  
  
They woke with a jolt and a flash, the sun was up as Yuna stood over them, with a polaroid camera, capturing their surprise as they were caught red-handed, spooning by what remained of the campfire.  
  
“I knew it!!!!!” The tall, exuberant girl yelled into the sky at no one in particular and did a happy dance, before running away before Jisu stood up and chased her. Yeji sat up, shook her head and laughed as she picked the polaroid from the ground.  
  
**PRESENT DAY** **  
** **  
** Yeji nervously checked her watch. By this time, the plane would already have landed and she would have been getting her bags by now. She tried to figure out what to say, double parking in front of the airport arrivals section, and turning her hazard lights on. College so far had been a lot more tiring than she expected, and juggling football and academics to keep her new scholarship had been harder to do without Jisu, but she made it to the summer, as slow as it felt to count the days, it was that day now.  
  
She stared at the bouquet of orchids in the back to check if any were wilted, as if one would have wilted in the 5 minute interval that passed before she looked again.  
  
Instead, her heart jolted in her chest, as she heard a knock on her car window, thinking it was airport security telling her to go around, but a familiar smile was pressed against the glass.  
  
“We landed early. I was too excited to text, I just grabbed my bag and went outside.”  
  
Yeji signalled for Jisu to move before she opened the car door and grabbed her by the waist immediately, sinking into her shoulder. “I’ve missed you.”  
  
“I’ve missed you too. So much.” Jisu lets herself soak in the embrace before spotting the bouquet in the back seat. “Is that for me?”  
  
“Yeah, I was supposed to stand here holding the flowers before you ruined my surprise.”

“Well, excuse me then! Guess I have another flight to catch…” Jisu joked as she playfully turned towards the airport doors before Yeji moved to impede her.  
  
“Not if I’m not coming with you.” She beamed at her, thoroughly meaning it.


End file.
